You said it yourself, bitch, we’re the guardians of the galaxy.

barnvs:

"i hecked up i HECKED UP"

thequeenofhell:

what Americans imagine being Australian means

image

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

nonbinaryanders:

maniacaltoaster:

nonbinaryanders:

Still bisexual when I’m in a relationship.

Still bisexual when I’m single.

Still bisexual when I’m dead.

Wait, can we still be bisexual when we’re dead? Wont we just be dead?

Nah friend. We get to go to bisexual heaven and chill with Freddie Mercury and Julie d’Aubigny. 

It’s right next door to asexual heaven. So ace bi people can come back and forth.

kinigget:

audiencezombie:

koulin:

gamercrunch:

This guy knows how to Far Cry

image

WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT

how the fuck…

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

captn-bucky:

bellecosby:

I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store. 

I think about this all the time

evhacon:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

jawnthetimelord:

onlyarandomwhovian:

tsarbucks:

phdix:

phdix:

hey kids, wanna hear a spooky story?

the college application process

financial aid offices

COMMON APP ERRORS

TAXES

A D U L T H O O D

[SCREAMING]

CAR PAYMENTS

billbuttlicker-:

i’m a film student

gorlt:

gorlt:

i’m horny but i don’t wanna masturbate because i’m tryna get right with god

you ever cum so hard ya legs start shaking n ya face get all sweaty and you hallucinate and see Jesus shakin his head no

THEME